Rules

Rules are life's most delicious pleasure. Dishing them out to random passers-by is a common practice for most Communists and Despots. Rules are invisible to most normal American families because they are commonly watching PBS and HSN. Rules keep the world in balance by telling people what to do. Commonly, rules are also exploited by Your Mom and Your Dad. If they tell you to eat your broccoli, you better do it.

History
Rules were first put into place by smart Egyptians who happened to have predicted that they would eventually need them in the year 2013. They built the Pyramids not to denote where their deceased grandparents were, but to show the world that they knew what rules were. Nobody understood why that was important. Now we do.

Eventually, the Egyptians were invaded by the British, somehow. They lost their rules because the British thought the scrolls holding them were meant to be used as bathroom tissue. So, they used them as anyone would use toilet paper. After the Egyptians became independent, somehow, they remade the rules again, or as legend says, fished them out of the sewer and put them back together. Everyone has rules now. Follow them. Or else.

Aftermath
Rules encourage Anarchists to break them. Rules also encourage children to break them. Some critics say that rules are bad. For instance, in 2009, Sarah Palin said this about rules: "We should get rid of them." She was wrong. Rules make for a happier world. If you don't agree, stop reading. The conclusion is that the Egyptians have rules now. So should you.

Sidenote:
The Sarah Palin quote was recorded by a newspaper run by grizzly bears in Fairbanks, so we have no reference to show the validity of it.