Nancy Pelosi



Nancy Patricia D'Alesandro Pelosi is an "American" (she's secretly from Mexico. We mean c'mon! Look at that name) who was the Minority Leader of the United States House of Representatives for four years. She was the Rep for California's 12th congressional district until the people gave her the boot and deported her to the recently closed (at least, that's what Barack Obama claims. Find out the background story here.) Guantanimo Bay in Cuba, where she remains this day scraping her nails on the walls and writing in her Playskool I Write Legislation interactive coloring book. She has a street in San Francisco, Califonia, which was accidentally named "Nancy Pelosi Drive" by an inebriated democrat who spray painted the name over the original street name. The original name was "Paul Ryan Way to Fiscal Perfection...Way."

Background
Pelosi says she was born in Baltimore, but that's not true. She was really born in Afghanistan, where she recieved the name "D'Alesandro". She then moved to Russia where she learned about the Communist point of view. She recieved the name "Pelosi" there once she became a skilled Russian politician. When she moved to America, she changed her name to Nancy Patricia so that she could slip into American politics and spread her Communistic ideas and views.

Her Fame
CNN caused Pelosi's fame to skyrocket to the point where she was recognizable outside of California slums. When she was elected to her position (whatever it was), she was suddenly recognizable to UN peeps who wanted to sunbathe in Long Beach. Some radical Liberalamists want to crown her Queen of California...and Fake Maple Syrup. But she has to beat up Aunt Jemima in a WWE match first. She has also penned a book along with Richard Dawkins and PSY. It is called "California Democrats: How Evolution gets YouTube Hits." The book, critiqued for being "what appeared to be three poorly written college thesises mashed into one gallimaufry" by the Associated Press, never sold well. When Borders tried to sell it, they went bankrupt.