Mark Zuckerburg

Mark Zuckerberg (or is he Jesse Eisenburg?) is the wonderfully vile inventor of the Spam-powered Facebook. His family calls him Zuck. Mark Twain's family sues them regularly. Sarah Palin and her family call him "Mark Zuckybucky". We call him our mind-controlled sla--friend.

His Family and History
Mark is the son of Apple CEO Tim Cook and Microsoft founder Bill Gates. We have no clue who his birth mother is or why Apple would get into bed with Microsoft. After doing stuff and college and doing things on a computer, Mark trademarked the color blue and made a social network we now call Facebook. (We have rights to that color because we have Danish lawyers.)