Internet Explorer

Internet Explorer is the slowest Internet browser ever created. First proposed by Aunt Jemima as being the online domain of anything sticky and syrupy, Internet Glucose, as it was first called, was launched in the early age of 2002. Upon being purchased by Bill Gates in 2004 as part of a large-scale assault on that darned upstart Apple, he renamed it Internet Explorer to tickle the adventurous fancies of his rich, lazy, gullible fanbase. This would be the center pillar of Microsoft, the first-ever computer company to recreate the wheel in the shape of a supposedly operating laptop. History was made.